


The Lonely Journal Keeper Connected By Suffering

by MyGoldenEyes



Series: I Saw Seven Birds [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Episode 65 Spoilers, Forgive Me, Sorry guys, Spoilers, super sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-17 23:29:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14841261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyGoldenEyes/pseuds/MyGoldenEyes
Summary: Lucretia's story was one of suffering.





	The Lonely Journal Keeper Connected By Suffering

Lucretia had always been an observer. She had watched the not just the mission but the world pass her by and simply chronicled it. Unfortunately that all had to change on their 65th cycle. The cycle with the justices.

It started as soon as they landed on that Pan forsaken planet. Lucretia had known that it was a bad idea to fly too close. There was a bad energy coming from the city but Davenport had insisted on a fly over and who was Lucretia, a lowly journal keeper, to argue against the captain. Then the ship was burning, a chunk severed off of it and her friends were falling away from her. It was all burning. 

And she woke up. 

And she was alone. 

The first thing she did was run to check on Fisher. She let out a wail when she saw his tank was leaking. He could survive without it but for how long Lucretia didn’t know. She scrambled to find something to use to patch it up. When she was finally sure that it couldn’t leak she collapsed against it. She looked up at Fisher and there was this feeling, this sinking awful, horrible feeling in her stomach. The others weren’t coming back. 

She didn’t accept it, of course she didn’t. She couldn’t. She wouldn’t have been able to survive those first few weeks if she hadn’t held on to the goal to just keep going until the others returned she wouldn’t have been able to keep going. 

The first challenge came when she was found by something. She assumed it was what had her friends. They came in blazes of light and flat voices. They spoke of taking her to a judge. They tried to break into the ship. She locked herself in her room. 

Under her breath she murmured to herself as she had taken to doing in the crew’s absence, “I have to fly the ship. I have to get away. What would the Captain do. How did he do this. I don’t know what to do..” She trailed off in sobs as the reality of her situation fell around her. She was the only one left. She had to escape so that the others could survive. They wouldn’t come back without her. 

Her body shook as she pressed a hand over her mouth, trying to supress silent sobs. She never made sound when she cried. It was a habit she had picked up during this trip. She always felt the youngest and most inexperienced. Magnus was close to her age but he was so brave, so willing to rush in to any situation. She had cried the first night and the whole crew had come to comfort her. So she silenced herself. It had become so much of a habit that even now with no one but Fisher to hear her she stayed quiet. 

She looked up through tear-blurred eyes and saw her journals. And there it was. She was the journal keeper, and she was damn good at her job. So what if she didn’t have the twin’s magical prowess, Barry’s intellect, Magnus’ bravery or Davenport’s leadership skills? She had written all of it down. There was nothing she couldn’t do because she had written every damn word down. Every move they made was here in these books, all she had to do was read. 

So she did. She read every section on Davenport flying, she read about Magnus sneaking tactics to scare the crew, and she created a plan. 

That night when the noise died down she crept out. 

She killed everything on the ship. 

And she flew off into the night. 

That’s how most of the rest of the year went and when the hunger came she was ready. She sped away. As soon as she felt that plane disappear she had a horrible thought. She thanked every deity that the hunger had taken it. Maybe they would feel the pain she had felt when whatever on that plane had taken her friends. She hadn’t been strong enough to stand while the group was rematerializing. She only muttered to herself, half trying to tell them what happened and half trying to reassure herself that it had happened and that she was ok. 

She hadn’t written a word that year. The only account of it had been what she told the others. While she did write down their experience she could never find it in herself to chronicle her own. One night Barry had asked about it. He had been rereading her writings and inquired about the missing year. 

“Hey Lucretia? Why didn’t you write about what happened to you?” Lucretia had looked at Barry with empty eyes and just shaken her head. 

“Not a story worth telling.” Bary didn’t ask any more. 

So she changed and that might have been what lead to her final decision when she saw what was happening to everyone. Lup left, her family was falling apart. Barry and Taako would go away for months at a time looking for her. Lucretia feared alone-ness again so she got desperate. She made a plan and she started to isolate herself. That final moment when Magnus visited her was so painful as she watched him forget. It was painful because she realized she would have to let them all go, she had created the isolation she was afraid of. 

Still, she was a little selfish, she kept Davenport. She reasoned that it was because he couldn’t be left on his own with what she had done to his memory but really she just needed him. 

It took forever to build the Buro. She became hard and empty. Every time she would send someone out to get one of those cursed relics she lost someone else. When she heard tell of Wonderland she was too wary so she went herself.  
Trials by suffering. 

She laughed at the irony. Her whole life had been suffering since that 65th cycle. Evey choice she made seemed to bring her nothing but pain and Wonderland only gave that a more immediate effect. 

When she lost Kam she knew she had to turn back. So she ran, returned to the Buro she had built empty handed and more haggard than she had ever been. 

One night when she felt totally hopeless Davenport had come to her with cookies and hot chocolate. She watched him smile up at her and chirp his own name in a way that sounded so much like the ‘pep up Lucretia, I believe in you.’ that she started crying again. But it gave her an idea. 

So she set events in motion. She made sure that everyone she could find would be in the same place at the same time. She made sure that they would find a relic. She pulled the strings like the two Litches had and it frightened her how good she was. 

They screwed it up, they always did. The three idiots she had grown to love destroyed everything, literally, they destroyed a town. Barry was among the casualties so measures against litches had to be put in place. He would remember now and as much as it killed Lucretia to keep him away she couldn’t have him come back. 

When Magnus, Taako, and Merle walked into the Buro she almost cried. Her friends looking so carefree. The burden of the past century lifted from their shoulders. It solidified her opinion that she had done the right thing. She almost didn’t want them to remember even the little that the voidfish would give them. 

Magnus beamed up at Fisher like he knew him and for a moment Lucretia was worried that he did, that his love was so strong he could remember. She wouldn’t put it past Magnus. But she needn’t of worried as he asked what Fisher was with awe. 

After she sent them away she went to her private chambers. 

Her body shook with silent sobs.

**Author's Note:**

> So you guys might have read my story The Twins Connected By Strands of Hair. If you were super observant you probably noticed that it was part of a series.  
> This is that series. I will be writing one snippet for each of the seven birds about what I see as a defining moment or part of their story. Some of it will follow cannon a lot of it will be totally made up by me.  
> It will probably all be sad. the next should be The Lover Connected by Loss of it can be The Lover Connected by Music. You guys pick which you want.  
> I love comments!!!


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